Raising Devils

How was the Big Birthday?

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009 | Connecting the Dots | 1 Comment

Great, if you just whitewash it here and there. The thing is, from two on, I had to just get my skates on and GO. 2:00 pick up Sam, town, snack, buy balloons, 3:00 pick up Lily, home put together big ole’ plastic doll house, cry because we cannot play more with it and it is not ours (well, that would be Lily). 4:00 babysitter’s, share cupcakes, celebrate. 4:30 Farmer’s Market for dinner. Park, try not to get run over, town is crazy busy, eat sausage, walk to swim lesson, try not to get run over, 5:40 swim lesson (it’s a one-week long special program at the college where each kid gets his or her own coach, and it’s great, but it’s hard to get here every night all week). get home, cake, presents, bed.

We actually managed to bring all that off with relative grace and charm, for me, and we were not late to anything, but oh, the emotional toll it takes on me to do all that shuttling and herding (add Rob to the mix for swim–he has to get in with Wy, who’s too young for his own coanch yet). Why? I don’t know. I worry that we won’t get there. I worry that I’ll yell. I worry that Rory and Wy will get run over. I worry that Sam’s homework won’t get done, which it didn’t, that they won’t get to bed, that they will get sick and I will be stuck with them when they should by all rights be in school.

But the birthday bits– all went really really well. Cupcakes were loved and appreciated and taken to school and talked about all day. Presents were wildly popular. We didn’t go overboard–and yet we still went big. She got a huge dollhouse and dolls and a car to tote them in–but in her mind it was all one glorious thing, and didn’t have that sort of “how can I play with everything” affect. And a game, which she played after half an hour with the dollhouse, very happily and it’s a game she and Wyatt or Lily or all three can really manage on their own, with only a little argument over who did what first.

Anyway, a very successful birthday, I think. And a card her foster family left for her. Which really, really pleased her.

They haven’t been in touch lately, which is sort of–she’s ours, now, without a doubt. I don’t think she doubts it, either. But she misses them, and especially her best friend, her Bethany. I think she’s beginning to understand where she’s from and what happened and to put some words to it. Overall, we’re in a pretty good place, but I wish I could give her a little talk with her friend. (I really wish I could give her a PLAYDATE with her friend, but oh well.) But I bet her friend is having a hard time without her, too, and maybe isn’t ready to talk to her, either. It will happen. It will all happen.

Tags: birthday

Happy Birthday Rory!

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009 | Connecting the Dots | 4 Comments

Happy Birthday Rory!

Originally uploaded by kjda

Rory is four! (Well, in a few hours, anyway, and as best as we know, so there you are.)

If you’re thinking “That’s a pretty lame cake for a 4-year-old, KJ,” well, you’re right. It’s also pretty tiny. But just outside the picture are the two plus dozen mini cupcakes she’s taking to school, and the extra cupcakes for breakfast, and still more to share with her babysitter and friends, it looks a little better. (And if you’re thinking, “I need a recipe that makes four dozen mini cupcakes and one really very small cake, then you need the “easy cupcakes” recipe in this book. Actually, everybody needs this book. Trust me.)

Tomorrow is Rory’s fourth birthday. She’s getting a big ole’ pink plastic doll house with a doll family that kind of looks like ours, if you take a lot of liberties with race and stuff and keep in mind that Rory’s skin is really very brown and that the little boy doll’s hair is covered by his hat anyway. And a van for said doll house family. And a game. And some pink plastic furniture.

What she’s not getting is a party–and that’s odd, because as a rule there’s nothing we love more than parties, and we usually rock some pretty big ones. But the one friend Rory would really, truly want at her party can’t come, and we’re not going to pretend. Rory’s “Bethany friend” is in China, but we know she’d be here if she could.

Right decision? I don’t know. We’ll have a party–there will be balloons and cake and presents. And I think Rory is getting enough of other kids at school and such right now. I think it’s a solid decision, anyway.

I want to tell you how normal and regular and loving our day felt. I want to tell how much I’m thinking of Rory’s Mama Deena, who would usually be the one making all those cupcakes. I want to tell you that I’m thinking of Rory’s birth mama, and maybe I am. But it’s late, and it will all have to wait until tomorrow.

Tags: birthday